Casey Mittelstadt, considered by many (ie. his parents)  to be a top-three North American prospect in this year’s NHL Draft, flunked the NHL Combine.

Obviously the combine is used as a baseline for player evaluations and Casey set the bar at an unheard of zero pulls ups and one bench press.  Mittelstadt, pictured above with his weight and gender on his shirt,  goes for his first and also his final attempt at the combine.  As you can see from the photo,he has formed his mouth into the shape of the number of pull ups he was able to execute.

One evaluator stated, ” I kept telling him to start, and thought maybe there was a language barrier, but it turned out he was done.”  An NHL exec said, “The number of pull ups doesn’t mean he won’t be a solid player in this league; it does mean we are looking at a potential pussy.    We see a lot of people who can’t do a pull up; Bob in accounting for example, and Tim the janitor and of course Sally our one armed IT person.  The lack of armpit hair on Casey  is also disconcerting, as is the facial expression of someone who is on his 85th pull up, not his zeroeth.”

It is expected that Casey will still be drafted in the top five, and then will have an enforcer on his line to protect him from the opponent’s tough guys. He will also most likely be assigned a staff member to lug his equipment bag around, which can often weigh in excess of 20 pounds, a weight this single bench pressing candy-ass will struggle with for sure.




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