Baltimore Ravens

Ranking The 32 Starting NFL QBs

Every NFL team needs a starting QB and I’ve got nothing better to do today, so on overall talent here are the power rankings of all NFL QBs.

32. Whoever starts for the Jets

The Jets have to be the shittiest organization the NFL has to offer, their roster is absolutely pitiful and their roster decisions are head scratching to say the least. To start, they cut Davis Harris and now are looking to part ways with Eric Decker, a team already not deep at WR after letting Marshall head out of town.  So clearly they are building towards the future, that is, until they reached out to Steve Smith…

So your choices at QB are McCown, Petty, and Hackenberg, so good luck Jets fans.

31. Jared Goff, LA Rams

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So last year Goff was pathetically unprepared for the NFL level, not only that but his weapons actually got worse this offseason. The only receiver I really like is Cooper Kupp and I HATE Jared Goff as a quarterback, his arm is extremely weak.

30. DeShaun Watson, Houston Texans

Watson obviously has no starting experience in the NFL yet, but I’ve already put him over those two bums. Anyway, I’m not high on Watson as an NFL QB anyway, extremely weak arm, telegraphs his passes, and isn’t the most intelligent decision maker.  He’s the Texans only hope though, and maybe he can make an impact.

29. Cody Kessler, Cleveland Browns

I guess Big Bad Brock could start in Cleveland but being the huge USC football fan that I am, I’m just going to give Cody some respect….okay now I’m done respecting him. I didn’t like Cody in college and he certainly has no glamour as an NFL starting QB. His intangibles are slightly better than Watson, so yeah, #TrojanUp

28. Blake Bortles, Jaguars

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I really want Bortles to be good, I’m really rooting for it, seems like a cool guy. However, he may have minimal time left before the Jaguars say fuck it and hope for prime Byron Leftwich to come back. His mechanics are disgusting and I don’t think you can teach an old dog new tricks.

27. Mike Glennon, Chicago Bears

I don’t think Glennon is horrible, I really don’t. However he hasn’t started in quite sometime and his weapons are absolute dog shit. However he is a veteran with some experience and is a decent decision maker so who knows what this guy can have for a season.

26. Trevor Siemian, Denver Broncos

With Paxton Lynch most likely the starter of the future, however when he was healthy Siemian was serviceable. His arm strength is poor but he definitely isn’t the worst guy on this list and he has a mental advantage over some of the other guys.

25. Brian Hoyer, San Francisco 49ers

Hoyer is slightly below average but serviceable, I don’t like him really talent wise, but he can be a good fit for San Fran. He’s the perfect bridge to the QB of the future and I think Hoyer will be fine, but he is better suited as a backup quarterback.

24. Carson Wentz, Philadelphia Eagles

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Carson Wentz started off hot last year, initially having Eagles fans excited about the future ahead with their new franchise quarterback. However when Wentz takes his first snap under center this season, he will have new weapons to throw to, and this second season will be a good look ahead at what Wentz can bring.

23. Joe Flacco, Baltimore Ravens

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JOE FLACCO IS NOT AND NEVER WAS AN ELITE FUCKING QUARTERBACK. HE BEAT TOM BRADY, HE WAS LUCKY, AND THEN HE GOT THE SHITTY 49ERS IN THE SUPER BOWL. Okay, now on to why Joe Flacco is slotted here. He was god awful last year, and his receiving core actually got worse. Flacco is a poor decision maker and is just not accurate.

22. Ryan Tannehill, Miami Dolphins

Coming off a decent season before injury, the 28 year old appeared to finally put something together last season. However aside from Landry and Parker, his weapons are limited and Tannehill just flat out is streaky. He can throw the deep ball better than anybody and that is how they’re successful in moving the ball down field.

21. Kirk Cousins, Washington Redskins

I’m not a guy that is high on Cousins. His deep ball isn’t good, he is inaccurate, and doesn’t lead his receivers well. I think you can be an average team with Cousins, like the Redskins are but taking the next step is going to require a career year from Cousins using tools I haven’t seen him use yet.

20. Alex Smith, Kansas City Chiefs 

Drafting Mahomes all but proves Smith’s time in KC is winding down. He never had the arm strength in his career but he is smart. He won’t march you down the field and win a game but he is just ehh. Smith won’t lead your team to the promise land, but he is not the worst thing ever.

19. Eli Manning, New York Giants

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Oh my dear god, Giants fans will crucify me if they get their hands on this. Look, I don’t think Eli had a bad career, he probably should be a hall of famer, however, he’s just getting older and has lost his touch a little bit, last season was a good example. I still think the Giants can win games, I just think Eli has lost a lot of qualities he once had such as good arm strength.

18. Sam Bradford, Minnesota Vikings

I really don’t think Bradford is a bad QB. He has good arm strength to an extent and is relatively accurate. I’m just at a cross roads where I think certain QBs should be a little higher then Bradford. He is just above replacement level in my mind, so I think he belongs here.

17. Carson Palmer, Arizona Cardinals

Palmer, another great USC QB (mild sarcasm) just turned 37, and if last season is any indication of what Palmer’s NFL career is like on the other side of the hill, then he may not be around for much longer. Not taking anything away from his career, just think he is on the downhill.

 

16. Andy Dalton, Cincinnati Bengals 

Dalton is the literal definition of mediocre, he is the Mason-Dixon line of quarterbacks. You’re either above him or below him, below you’re below average and above makes you a decent quarterback, so congratulations to the rest of the quarterbacks following Andy. However take away AJ Green and Dalton just isn’t that good.

15. Tyrod Taylor, Buffalo Bills

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Tyrod has shown the potential to be a pretty good starting NFL QB but with no talent at all in Buffalo for a receiving core, besides Watkins who is never on the field, and a dysfunctional organization, Taylor has had his growth stunted. I think he can be a good NFL QB, never a top 10, and probably teetering on top 15 status.

14. Dak Prescott, Dallas Cowboys

After winning the starting job last season, Prescott proved he could in fact succeed as an NFL player in this league. It took until day 3 of the draft for his name to be called, but he was the consistent arm that the Cowboys needed and then some. A lot like Taylor, I don’t think he will ever be a top 10 quarterback in this league, but he can definitely be here to stay as a top 12, top 15 QB.

13. Marcus Mariota, Tennessee Titans

Before his injury last season, Mariota was taking massive steps in the right direction towards a successful NFL career. His injury was truly a shame as the Titans may have been able to win the AFC West behind a good season from Marcus and DeMarco Murray. I’d expect similar success this coming season from Mariota.

12. Matthew Stafford, Detroit Lions

A true gunslinger, Matt Stafford’s first season without Calvin actually was one of his better ones, somehow. Stafford had spread the ball to a lot of targets (trust me, I know, I was a boom or bust Golden Tate owner in Fantasy). Stafford looks to continue his success with another high powered aerial attack this season.

11. Jameis Winston, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

Winston may be paired with one of the NFL’s better receiving cores this season. Winston has started his career with two 4,000 yard passing seasons and if he continued with a third I wouldn’t be surprised. Lackluster at times, Winston can win ball games, and the Bucs should be fighting for a playoff spot at seasons end.

10. Derek Carr, Oakland Raiders

New York Jets v Oakland Raiders

Coming off a great 2016 campaign, ended by injury and a premature ending to the Raiders season, Carr can look forward to another year of good offensive line play coupled with a above average receiving core that saw Crabtree take a step in the right direction. With Marshawn Lynch coming to the backfield, the possibilities for the soon to be Las Vegas Raiders, are endless.

9.  Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh Steelers

A man who just can’t seem to get a full season of being healthy is reaching the end of his career. However when he is healthy and on the field, and what separates him from being down on my list like Eli and Palmer is that I still think Ben has more left in the tank then they do at this point, despite him contemplating retirement. He always has been a strong arm quarterback and a tough guy to take down.

8. Cam Newton, Carolina Panthers

The former MVP is capable of putting up big statistical seasons, such as his MVP campaign from two seasons ago. A physically gifted athlete with no talent for receivers often feels like it’s holding Cam back a little bit. I’d expect a bounce back year from Newton, but he has to work his way back into my top 5 quarterbacks.

7. Philip Rivers, Los Angeles Chargers

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Another example of a guy not quite over the hill yet is the baby making machine himself, Philip Rivers. A gunslinger who puts up massive amounts of yardage, and had his prime wasted by the Chargers is now looking to keep up his success at the end of his career. I think we all agree he would be much better off if all his receivers weren’t made of glass.

6. Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons

I will give the MVP the benefit of the doubt and slide him in here, although I think Ryan’s season will not be nearly as good as last years. He lead a surprise Atlanta Falcons team through the NFC and almost a Super Bowl victory. With that being said Ryan has good skills to be a solid NFL QB, like he quietly has been doing most his career.

5. Russell Wilson, Seattle Seahawks

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Wilson wasn’t thought to be much of a passer entering the league but look who is laughing now. The Seahawks drafted him and he has rewarded them ten-fold. Wilson had a tough year last year, actually missing some time with injuries. Expect Wilson to be right around that top 5 QB mark like he is.

4. Andrew Luck, Indianapolis Colts

Luck’s receiving core last year was made up of literally nobody and TY Hilton. He had a rejuvenated Frank Gore and was able to put up a pretty decent season coming off injury. He can continue to fluctuate in this top 10 list as his career goes on, but a lot of that will have to do with the talent he gets on his side of the ball.

3. Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints

A man who has lead the league in passing for 3 straight years has not slown down yet. While they did just take out his top offensive target, Brees still throws the ball well and will look to have another quality year. Despite signing Peterson, the Saints are a pass happy team.

2. Tom Brady, New England Patriots

It kills me to put Tom #2, I actually feel like I’ve committed a sin, so Tom if you read this, you’re still the second coming of  Christ to me. He has been consistent over his time in the league and at nearly 40 years young, Tommy Terrific can still do it all. However the reason he is number 2 on my list is because of one man, Aaron Rodgers.

1. Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers

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He is ahead of Tom based on his physical gifts. Toms career is obviously second to none. Aaron can make the most difficult throws seem easy, across his body, on the run, he can do it all it seems, but the Packers came up short. As long as Rodgers is under center, Packers fans can relax, you got a great one.

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