If Michael Phelps Can Fake Face A Great White Shark, Arian Foster Can Fight A Fucken Wolf

Okay, its been some time since Michael Phelps “raced” a great white shark. I understand most people were pissed off when he didn’t actually race a shark. He just swam with a fin extension in the ocean against an animated shark. It was Discovery channels headline for Shark Week 2017 and it had over five-million viewers.

The first thing I have to say is that I did not watch the race nor did I care about it. The next thing I would like to say is if you believed that Michael Phelps was going to race an actual shark, your a dumbass. How in the hell are they going to capture a god damn great white shark, and force it to race in a straight lane only telling it to start when the damn race begins. Also, some morons expect Phelps to get in the water with a great white intentionally. Dumbasses.

That program sucked and it was everything I expected.

I now have a new proposal. Earlier this year, Adrian Foster, the retired running-back went on a four hour rant via Twitter  that he would be able to take a wolf on in a one-on-one fight.

i honestly think i can get a wolf 1 on 1 tho.

 

Listen. Phelps didn’t go on a rant about how he could whoop a shark in the race. It was Discovery Channel’s idea. Yeah it made money, but it was pretty fucking stupid. Thank you for the golds though Phelps. Truly a US Olympic hero.

Arian is basically calling out every wolf that crosses his path. All I’m saying is that this would be a lot more entertaining to watch, and I think the wolf and Adrian would have something at stake. Foster needs to show up and keep his reputation, the wolf would be fighting and sticking up for his whole god damn species.

To back up this claim, he brought in the evidence that wolves don’t have thumbs, but he does.

none of them have thumbs. https://twitter.com/srerik/status/838443390056316928 

He is not wrong. Wolves do not have thumbs. With all of his injuries that sent him into an early retirement, I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t have thumbs anymore, but thats off topic.

i’ve studied the wolf. he can’t read. i know his weaknesses. plus the thumb thing.

Arian is a smart man. He has studied his opponent up and down, he has the power to read and the internet available to him. Slight disadvantage for the wolf, but so is the whole thumb thing too.

So lets think about this now. Arian has had the time to study and prepare against his opponent, and he has thumbs. So far, advantage Foster. Lets bring size into this now. The largest wolf species is the Grey Wolf. Males average around 92-99 lbs but can reach 180 lbs. For you gender equality fucks asking why I’m not using a female, it’s because males are larger than females. They can grow to about three feet in height and fight and a half feet in length.

Arians last listed height is six foot one inch and weighed 221 lbs. If Arian is still in good shape, minus his ongoing list of injuries, then he stacks up pretty well physically.

wolves don’t scare me like that cuz in my neighborhood was a bunch of loose enraged pits. if he alone i think i can get him.

Next thing you have to know about Foster, he’s fucken fearless. He’s going to stare into the wolfs soul and have that wolf paralyzed in fear.

I give the overall advantage to Foster, but lets be honest, he would be fighting a fucken wolf. Those fuckers take down bison on the daily.

Get Arian in a damn suit of armor or something of the sorts and make this happen. Shit they have boxes that are bear proof, there has to be some shit out there he could wear. At the very least, Have Foster put on some virtual reality goggles and simulate this fight. It would still be a hundred times better than that shit race 5 million people viewed.

I think I would rather see this than McGregor vs. Mayweather. PETA may fucking blow a gasket but that’s a risk I am willing to take.

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