(CNN)– After nearly four hours of deliberation, a jury ruled in favor of pop star Taylor Swift in her countersuit against former radio host David Mueller for alleged assault and battery. Swift accused Mueller of groping her at a meet-and-greet event in June 2013. He will be required to pay $1 in damages to Swift.
Taylor Swift just won a lawsuit against some DJ from Denver for sexual assault, but the real winner is the DJ.
This dude inappropriately touched a female celebrity and his punishment was to hand over a fucking dollar bill??? And it wasn’t just some D-list celebrity. It was Taylor Swift. Talk about a slap on the wrist.
In most cases, being found guilty of sexual assault and battery is a bad look. Technically, this guy David Mueller is now a registered sex offender, but think about the fame he’s going to get for being the guy who grabbed Taylor Swift’s ass for a $1 fee. You’re talking about a woman who is worth $280 million. It should cost at least $1,000 to look at her in person, and $10,000 to shake her hand.
Instead, this fucking loser DJ from Denver who thought he was making power moves by grabbing T-Swift’s ass will now be set for life. He’ll end up writing a book about this whole saga and make a profit off of it.
Who knew $1 could get you a published book and one squeeze of Taylor Swift’s butt. Some guys have all the luck.