Harambe Was The Most Overrated Athlete of All-time

Let’s face facts here. Harambe is the most overrated athlete ever. They call him “The Greatest That Never Was.” I don’t really understand why people take rides on his dick like it’s the carousel at a county fair. If he’s so awesome, why couldn’t he dodge a single bullet? One shot and that boy was out.

Zero agility, zero awareness, and a 14.4 second 40-yard dash time. He would’ve gone undrafted in the NFL. He might have made it on to a practice squad, but would never see the light of day on an NFL field.

The kid could’ve been a monster power hitter in the MLB though. Basically a Jim Thome clone. Could’ve played 18 seasons in the bigs, smacked 500 homers, and had a career average of .300.

But why do people make him out to be some kind of hero? People forget that he was seconds away from going all Adrian Peterson on some kid that hopped into his playpen. That’s a one-year suspension.

The real shame is that if Harambe lived in Texas, he would’ve been allowed to maul that kid because of the stand your ground laws. However, in Ohio when a child trespasses on your own property you get shot. Complete and utter bullshit.


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