Someone Need to Get Me In Touch With Michael Beasley’s Weed Man

Michael Beasley signed with the New York Knicks over the summer, and it is no secret that Beasley is a pretty big fan of Mary Jane. But after Beasley’s comments Wednesday in a presser with the New York press, I need his weed guy’s number ASAP.

The Michael Beasley. The second pick in the 2008 draft. The man picked over Russell Westbrook and Kevin Love said he is now “your favorite player’s favorite player.” This day is filled with a plethora of memorable quotes, and that one isn’t even the dumbest one. Michael Beasly said he’s really been working this offseason and that’s great for him; I won’t take that away from him. I don’t give a shit how hard Beasley worked, he is no one’s favorite player. Unless he did the shit the Martians did in Space Jam, I don’t see Beasley entering the favorite player category EVER. A little notice for the rest of this article: this in no way is me hating on Michael Beasley. This is just me stating facts.

The New York Knickerbockers are laughably bad. You know it. I know it. Any NBA fan knows it. Shit, I’ll even say a good majority of the general population knows the Knicks would have trouble beating the local rec team. So when Michael Beasley says they have a chance to be a “5 or 6 seed,” that no longer is funny. That is plain disrespect. The East is the weaker conference by a hefty amount, but boy I’ll be damned if it’s that fucking weak. The Knicks are, in my opinion, in competition with the Nets as the worst team in the NBA. I will make this a thing now, if the New York Knicks make the NBA playoffs the NBA playoffs, I will be at the first home game they have in MSG, covering it for WTP. Fuck it, I’ll be wearing a Michael Beasley jersey too. The Knicks being a 5 seed this year is about as accurate as people thinking KD now has thick skin in Golden State. When your biggest addition is Tim Hardaway Jr., you aren’t a five seed. I don’t know if Beasley knows, but Melo is allowed to wear hoodies on the court.

The most preposterous thing Beasley said Wednesday, more than likely, the dumbest shit he’s ever said is that this year he believes “he can be one of the best players in the league.” Michael Beasley is not a top-100 player. He says he did a lot of work in the offseason. If he did, I’ll be his biggest fan. There’s no way Michael Beasley can compare to a Giannis Antetokounmpo or a Kahwi Lenord. If he does, that’s good for New York. He finally can live up to the draft hype. 10 years later but still nonetheless. Michael Beasley is going to average 12 points, MAYBE. No one is a great player if the average 12 points (cough, Draymond Green).

I’m not a fan of weed but the way Michael Beasley behaves, it must be one helluva drug. If anyone has that’s dealers number, slide into my DMs ASAP.


Isaac Fox



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