I Can’t Believe the Giants are Keeping Pablo Sandoval

The San Francisco Giants have picked up Pablo Sandoval’s contract option for 2018, and I’d like to be the first to congratulate them on continuing to make idiotic decisions. San Fran is in what’s known as a critical off-season after finishing tied with a Verlander-less Detroit Tigers for the worst record in the league. But unlike the Tigers, who went out and hired themselves a new manager to kick off a rebuild, the Giants are sticking with Old Unfaithful as a sometimes-third baseman. They’re like anyone who stays with to someone who cheats on them and treats them like garbage. I mean, really, Pablo Sandoval? How is this guy still playing baseball, let alone for the same team?

To recap his 2017 season: the Red Sox finally designated him for assignment, giving him $49.5 MILLION DOLLARS to GTFO, which has to be some kind of record. He then went crawling back to the Giants, writing a very BS article in the Player’s Tribune that “explained” why he played like complete crap in Boston. No, Pablo, you weren’t homesick. For $95 million dollars, you get yourself a dietician and a therapist, and you hit the damn ball. It’s your job. And if you can’t hit the ball, at least be apologetic and humble about it; Bostonians saw right through you, and when you left, we celebrated as if we were going to make it farther than the ALDS this season. Self-burn.

Back in SF for the remainder of the season, Panda spent some time in the minors before capping his season with a hilariously tragic walk-off homer that cost his worst-record Giants the 2018 first-round draft pick.

The logical explanation for this is that the Giants only have to pay the major league minimum to Pablo, which is roughly $180,000. But only because the Red Sox are still paying him the remainder of his $95 million dollar salary, so that Giants paycheck is kind of like a cash-back rebate to Boston. I personally think he’s worth about $5, but I guess San Francisco is going to see if he can do anything this season. Because that’s what you do when a player comes back and goes 0-39. You give him yet another chance.

I guess it’s pretty much a no-risk situation for the Giants. Pablo already managed to make their 2017 season even worse than it already was, so maybe they just think there’s nowhere to go from rock bottom but up? I don’t really know why they’d want to keep him around. I mean, I know weed is legal here in California, but how high do you have to be to pay this guy to ruin your team again?

On the plus side, it means I get to bring you another season of ridiculous Panda coverage. In the words of Big Sean and Riley Curry, I’m feeling blessed. Get pumped for 2018, guys.


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