NFL WEEK 9: Trip Around the League

Crazy week in the NFL in Week 9, with fights and QB’s acting like complete donkeys.

In the Carolina Panthers game, Cam Newton went ballistic on the field when his coach decided to not go for it on 4th and inches. Cam looked like a 5-year-old who has just learned he can’t have the candy bar in the window; a former Super Bowl quarterback jumping and down and having a complete toxic meltdown is just what a franchise needs from its supposed leader.  From a strategy standpoint, the call made sense. It’s fourth and about the length of Cam’s brain stem for the first down. If I’m Ron Rivera and I see Cam acting like that, my thought as he comes off the field is, “that reaction is exactly why I didn’t want to go for it.” No word on whether Cam will be suspended or forced to sit in the corner for a ten minute time out.

Jameis Winston had a great afternoon. He started out the game with a pregame pep talk which resulted in him sucking on his fingers and forming them into the shape of a W (for win… glad he pointed that out because the video led me to believe it stood for ‘want to eat some tang’) While Jameis went through this routine, his teammates stood around him and stared, their faces indicating wonderment that this man wasn’t being placed into a straightjacket and ushered off to the nearest nut factory.   Jameis threw 13 saliva-coated spirals, then left the game due to an injury – an injury that was not severe enough to prevent him from getting involved in a sideline fight with a New Orleans Saints cornerback. The pregame speech seemed to have had an effect on his team, as they won the fight.

AJ Green also got into a fight with Jacksonville’s Jalen Ramsey’s helmet on Sunday. AJ initially tried to rip the helmet free of the head it was settled upon; then decided to just land several hard blows to the inanimate objects’ surface. The helmet was not able to land any blows of its own, but did not sustain any visible damage from the fracas and should be ready to go in Week 10.

Julio Jones dropped a pass in the end zone that could possibly have given the Falcons the win late in the game. This was one of those passes that drops into your hands with no opponent within sight and so much time on your hands that you lose focus and start wondering if you left the oven on and forgot to save your progress on Crash Bandicoot level 8. The Falcons are clearly still rattled by the Super Bowl loss. They are now 4-4 on the season and have to play against Dallas this Sunday. Do I feel bad for them? Hell no. I hope they run up a 40-0 lead, then watch in horror as backup running back Alfred Morris runs for 300 yards and 7 touchdowns in the second half; crushing poor Atlanta’s spirits for good while Ezekiel Elliot sits up the stands getting counseled by Jim Brown and Ray Rice on how to treat women.


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