Keep Lebron James Away From the Boston Celtics

So apparently people are speculating that the Celtics could go for LeBron James during the 2018-2019 offseason. As a proud hater of LeBron, let me make this very, very clear:

KEEP LEBRON JAMES AWAY FROM THE BOSTON CELTICS AT ALL COSTS.

LeBron James is basically King Joffrey from Game of Thrones. He’s an illegitimate king who has the undying support of the people because of the propagandist narrative that he’s infallible. Sports media personalities like Nick Wright and Brian Windhorst live to worship the ground LeBron walks on, and the general public eats it up.

I, on the other hand, am Ned Stark. An honorable man who understands that the “King” might not be a king after all. I’m not saying LeBron is a bastard or the product of incest, but I am saying that I am one of the few who sees him for what he really is: a great basketball player. Not the greatest.

If LeBron was signed by the Celtics, all hell would break loose. As is the case with any team LeBron plays for, the entire game plan would be centered around him. Gordon Hayward would be reduced to a spot-up shooter and guys like Al Horford, Kyrie Irving, and Marcus Smart would serve in supporting roles to the all-mighty LeBron. Brad Stevens, the best young coach in the NBA, would serve LeBron and LeBron only, catering to his every whim and making substitutions at his will. LeBron might even drive Kyrie out of town again.

So forgive me for not wanting the energy-vampire that is LeBron James on my team. I don’t care how far they make it. A LeBron James-led team is not a team I want to root for.

For those hoping the C’s sign LeBron, I ask you this: have you no dignity? When he touched the ball on the hallowed ground that is the TD Banknorth Garden hardwood, did you not boo him? Where has your hatred, passion, and spirit gone? Any sane Bostonian will agree: keep this cancer away from our basketball team.

Have you watched Lebron score, rebound, turn the ball over, and complain about non-fouls? I want you to dig deep… really dig deep… and ask yourself: is this a man you want on your team?

Didn’t think so.

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