Gary Sanchez requests to sit on a chair while he catches

Every so often in the game of baseball, there comes a move so foreign, so revolutionary, that it can’t be ignored. John Olerud famously wore a helmet out onto the field to avoid head injuries. Moises Alou used to piss on his hands to toughen them up for hitting. Ted Williams opted to cyrogenically freeze his own body post-mortem for reasons I cannot accurately explain.

Now, New York Yankees catcher Gary Sanchez becomes the most recent player to have an outlandish idea. He has requested to sit on a chair while catching.

In the wake of a low-effort play that cost the Yankees the game, Sanchez is taking endless heat for his apparent laziness. What people fail to realize, however, is the physical toll that catching in the Majors has on a man’s legs. Sitting in a crouch for such a long period of time impairs a person’s ability to run.

Now, Gary Sanchez is taking action. Instead of training tirelessly to work on his speed, strength, and endurance, he is one step ahead of the game. His idea is, in fact, more efficient than training and giving a full effort. He simply theorizes that if his legs aren’t as tired from catching, he’ll be able to run faster on the bases. This has led him to the brilliant conclusion that he should sit on a chair while catching, instead of wasting his energy in a crouch.

“It would be like putting a solar panel on your roof,” Sanchez said through a translator. “I don’t really move much anyway, so why not save energy while I’m at it?”

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This of course, is not set in stone, as it still has to be approved by rookie manager Aaron Boone. Boone declined to comment on the situation, but it can be assumed that when he makes a decision on the matter, it will be the wrong one.

Furthermore, I asked El Gary, as he is known in the Bronx, what kind of chair he would like to sit on behind the plate. “Definitely something padded, and with an arm rest,” said Sanchez. “That way, I can rest my arm when I’m not using it. Also, it should have a cup holder so I can keep some snacks with me.” Snacks of course, contain calories, which are literally units of energy.

After conserving energy for an entire game, Sanchez, who is batting .188, will fly back to the dugout after his nightly strikeout. In addition, on the off chance he does get a hold of one, he’ll trot around the bases at a blistering pace.

It remains to be seen if this idea will ever come to fruition, but it’s a step in the right direction for Sanchez, who has at least accepted that he has an endurance problem. The New York Yankees find themselves 6 games behind the Boston Red Sox in the AL East standings, but that could certainly change if Gary Sanchez finds the right sized recliner to sit in while he attempts to catch. Only time will tell.

Images:  Sporting News


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