Here at WTP Sports, we’ve done numerous power rankings, from NFL to NBA, and everything in between. To keep things festive, I’ve decided to power rank the top dishes at Thanksgiving dinner. Just so we’re clear, these are only correct rankings on the internet and that’s that.
#10- Cranberry Sauce:
Honestly, I’m not really a fan of cranberry sauce. Yeah, it’s festive and all, and it looks cool, but it’s eh… not really that good. I guess it gives a little bit of flavor but if it’s so good, why don’t you eat it any other time of the year? Exactly. Shut your face.
#9- Pumpkin Pie:
Let’s be honest, no Thanksgiving is a Thanksgiving unless you have a pie. I ranked pumpkin pie here because it had to make the list. I just think everyone is pretty tired of anything pumpkin-related by the end of November. Still, it’s pretty banging with some whipped cream on top.
#8- Mashed Potatoes / Sweet Potatoes:
First, let’s talk about mashed potatoes and how delicious they are. Buttery, creamy, and just out of this world. Mashed potatoes make a Thanksgiving complete. Yeah, they could be higher on the list but as a side dish, you have to be pretty damn good to make it in the top 5.
As for Sweet Potatoes, you can NEVER go wrong with those gooey marshmallows and cinnamon sugar on top. When they’re warm and fresh out of the oven, they’ll have your sitting on cloud nine.
The gravy makes Thanksgiving. It brings that extra boost in flavor to the turkey and mashed potatoes. Also, if your host on Thanksgiving serves canned gravy you should just leave and steal all of their alcohol. The gravy MUST be homemade and nothing else. The flavoring must be out of this world. If it’s done to perfection then you should be able to sit there and eat the gravy with a spoon.
#6- Green Bean Casserole:
Believe it or not, I had never had green bean casserole until about a year ago (I’m 21). Yeah, screw my childhood I guess, but for real though, this dish is the bomb. I know it should probably be higher on the list, but it comes in sneaky at number 6. Green bean casserole is best when you have those crunchy onion straws on top that give it that extra yum it needs. I mean, if you throw fried onions on top of anything, it’s gonna taste good.
Obviously the turkey had to make it into the top 5. If it didn’t, I would get even more criticism than I probably already am. Anyway, for all of the meat lovers out there, we LOVE our Turkey (and really any other meat that your host serves on Thanksgiving). If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll admit that Turkey is bland. Again, turkey is not complete without gravy. Regardless, it’s a tradition and we love it nonetheless.
#4- Mac & Cheese:
Mac & Cheese is definitely one of the best sides ever (besides the all-mighty stuffing). No comparison to anything and if you think otherwise, then I hope you choke on a turkey leg (not really though). If I was the President of the United State,s I would make mac & cheese the official food of the world. That cheesy, warm, golden goodness will leave you stuffed and ready for a nap.
#3- Pecan Pie:
You can say question this all you want. I don’t care. Pecan pie is the best dessert ever. It has the best filling, the best crust, and those pecans on top just give it the extra tastiness that you need to end your Thanksgiving dinner. I don’t know, it must just be a southern thing, but who knows? Oh, and it’s pronounced “pee-can” NOT “pa-cawn,” you uncultured swine.
In the words of Action Bronson, “F*ck, that’s delicious.” Stuffing is the greatest side dish on the planet. It fills you up and makes you feel fat for a good reason. God, I love it so much. Some people call it dressing, but those people are dumb. It’s called stuffing for a reason, because you eat so much of it that you’re completely stuffed, but still somehow have room for pie.
How could this not be on the list? You thought that I was gonna leave off the essentials that keep adults sane during the holidays? No way. Depending on how many grandmas, grandpas, or family friends are at your table, booze will always be atop the list. Now, how much of it is another story. Especially if grandma Betty is sitting next to you. Regardless, at the end of the night, you’ll find yourself passed out in your bed happy and full with a beer gut sitting beside you.