GOOOOOOOD MORNING DEGENERATES! Happy NFL Sunday!
ANYWHO, welcome to Middle Urinal Must Bets, presented by the WTP Sports Book (go DM @WTP_SportsBook on Twitter to place your bets). Each week on Live from the Middle Urinal—an OK-at-best podcast you certainly should(n’t) listen to—myself and fellow degenerate sports bettors Dom, Rob, and Phil give you our…LOCKS OF THE WEEK. After going 4-0 (Matt) and 2-2 (Dom), now we’re committing to 16 weeks of pickin’ LOCKS for the boys. Make sure you listen each week—we give extra picks in the pod!
So far, we’re 11-12-1 on the year and 18-16-1 with bonus/guests included—not bad for guys who don’t know what they’re doing. Now, without further ado, here are our LOCKS OF THE WEEK for NFL Week 9.
Matt (4-4; overall, 8-4)
The Game: Tennessee Titans at Carolina Panthers; Sunday, 1:00pm
The Pick: TEN +3.5
I told you I was back last week. I got boned by the Giants. I said it wouldn’t happen again, and Seattle covered for me. I’m back. This week, I love this Tennessee team on the road. Carolina is riding the coattails (rightfully so) of Christian McCaffrey, and while I agree he’s probably going to have a good game this week, Tennessee is more than capable of keeping this close. For some reason, Vrabel’s squad crushes when they’re dogs. When they’re favored, not so much. I can’t explain it. But something tells me they’re fired up after winning despite Mariota’s benching, and I feel like Carolina needs to get knocked down a peg. They’re an OK team. They’re not good. Tennessee is going to help me prove that. Lock it in.
Dom (4-4; overall, 6-6)
The Game: Denver Broncos at Cleveland Browns; Sunday, 4:25pm
The Pick: DEN +3
Flacco is out. Done for the year. Doesn’t matter. Backup QBs have found success this year, and we’re fairly certain that as long as Freddie Kitchens remains the head coach of the Browns (and their offensive line remains one of the worst in football), it’s almost easy to say it’s safe to bet against the Browns. Look, Denver isn’t the greatest team in the world, but this feels like the game the Browns fall apart. Plus, 80% of the public is on Cleveland. We fade the public. Book it.
Rob (2-2-1; overall, 2-2-1)
The Game: Green Bay Packers at Los Angeles Chargers; Sunday, 4:25pm
The Pick: GB -3.5
To put it in Rob’s words, it’s not a homer pick, the Chargers just fuckin’ stink. They’re bad. AKA not good. Green Bay on the other hand, actually looks like a competent football team, and they can move the ball extraordinarily well on the ground or through the air. That extra half point is usually a pain, but we’re not worried in this instance. It’s essentially going to be a home game for the Packers, and something tells me Aaron Rodgers will feel quite comfortable back in that nice LA weather. Book it.
Phil (1-2; overall, 1-2)
The Game: Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Seattle Seahawks; Sunday, 4:05pm
The Pick: SEA -6
Last week, Seattle handled a bad team in Atlanta, on the road, winning by essentially 2 touchdowns and giving up a meaningless score toward the end of the game. This week, they play Tampa, who has to fly across the country to get to them. Granted, Seattle hasn’t looked like world beaters this year, but the number at 6 or lower feels like a solid bet. This could be a blowout, or a one-score game. Either way, Seattle covers.
BONUS PICK (4-4)
The Game: San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals; Thursday, 8:20pm
The Pick: AZ +10
Admittedly, we forgot this was the Thursday night game when we picked it (we recorded Wednesday). However, it was all over our social media (follow us at @middleurinalpod on all channels), and it hit. So our bad, but also, kind of your bad if you’re not following us.
Every Sunday morning, I’ll be bringing you these picks, so make sure you place all your bets with the WTP Sports Book by DMing us at @WTP_SportsBook on Twitter. Go make some money, folks. And listen to the show on Wednesdays (and Sundays!) anywhere you can find podcasts!