An Investigation: Is Christian Yelich Human?

The 2019 MLB baseball season is officially underway and there have been a few noteworthy talking points through the first few games.

The Mariners shelled the defending World Series champion Red Sox, beating them in their series 3-1 and improving to 5-1 on the year. Bryce Harper clubbed two moonshot home runs in a sweep of the Braves and the Baltimore Orioles climbed up the AL East standings after beating the Yankees in Yankee Stadium two out of three games.

Oh… and Christian Yelich is under investigation.

The reigning NL MVP has been on a tear for nearly a full year now. During the final 65 games of last season (post All-Star Break), Yelich hit .367 with 25 home runs, 67 RBI’s and a 1.219 OPS, bringing the Brewers one game away from the World Series. This run is what caught the eyes of detectives and scientists everywhere as they began to ask the question… is Christian Yelich human?

The only logical conclusion is that the second half that the Brewers left fielder put together was somewhat of a fluke. Yeah, Yelich is good but he can’t possibly carry this into a new season right?

Well, the facts say otherwise.

In the first four games of the new year, Yelich has compiled 18 plate appearances. Four of those 18 times the MVP has stepped up to the dish have ended up in Yelich jogging around the bases and a ball in the seats. Six of those trips have ended with Yelich jogging down to first base after a pitcher was too scared to give him anything good to hit. Intentional walks might be the best way to not let Yelich beat you so should every pitcher in the league just give the All-Star a free pass to first base?

Well if you are Jordan Hicks of the Cardinals that’s just not an option. With runners on first and third and nobody out in the bottom of the ninth inning, Yelich stepped to the plate and Hicks had nowhere to put him. Naturally, the left fielder lined a double in the left-center field gap, driving in both runners and winning the game.

If there could be a MVP award given out for the first four games of the season it’s Yelich. The man is hitting .500 with four home runs, eight RBI’s, six walks, six runs scored and just one strikeout.

There is no timetable for the conclusion of the investigation but if Yelich keeps this up, there is only one clear answer to the major question: Christian Yelich is not human.

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