The 2019 Red Sox Are On A Mission To Kill Me

After last nights 8-0 loss to the minor league version of the New York Yankees, my will to live is officially gone.

The Red Sox are objectively bad right now. It’s no longer a slow start, it’s not World Series hangover, it’s just bad baseball. And you can’t say otherwise.

I’m not saying the season is over or that the teams doomed or any of that shit, I’m just saying that this isn’t good. The pitchers are horrible, the offense is anemic, the defense is bad, the base running isn’t there. Nothing is clicking.

What can we point a finger at? Who is the scapegoat? You might want to say Dana Levangie, and you could clearly make a case for him being responsible for the pitching staffs shortcomings thus far. But from some of Levangie’s comments after Eduardo Rodriguez’s first start of the season, it sounds more like the pitchers simply aren’t executing the pitches they’re being told to throw. And based on the rotations previous success with Levangie, you shouldn’t be quick to pull the trigger on axing the teams pitching coach.

Maybe you want to blame hitting coach Tim Hyers for the lineups lack of output, but I’d show reservations towards that move, as well. In Hyers first year on the job, he pulled career years out of Xander Bogaerts, Rafael Devers, JD Martinez, and, of course, Mookie Betts. However, it’s scary that a team that ranked in the top 5 for almost every major offensive category last year is now firmly cemented in the bottom third of the league.

So if you can’t blame the coaches, who’s left? Oh Shit, THE PLAYERS. Why aren’t we getting on the players for not just figuring it the fuck out right now? I know this group won a World Series last year, but they’re not immune to criticism, right? I know Mookie Betts won the AL MVP last year, but you can’t start the year off hitting .212. I know that JBJ likes to go through slumps, but you can’t hit .149 in a contract year. I know the pitching was terrific last year, but this team, who has 2 Cy Young winners and one of the best pitchers of this generation, CANNOT have a 5.93 ERA. I’m not breaking any ground when I say this, but at some point, you need to stop looking for something to blame, when the problem is directly in front of your goddamn face.

To the Boston Red Sox, because I know you are absolutely reading this right now, please, for the love of God, just start winning. For the sake of my sanity, and for the sake of everyone else in New England, JUST START PLAYING WELL. The jokes over. “Oh, haha, they want to make everyone think they have a shot at winning the World Series”, enough of that shit.

I’ll keep saying it, but I’m not nervous yet, I’m pissed off. Actually, I’m very pissed off. This team is too fucking good to be this fucking bad. 

Figure it out.  

(P.S. I started writing this immediately after the loss, took a few hours to really let the anger brew, and then finished my rage. This team is sinking deep into my brain and is actively ruining my life)

Photo: Kathy Willens/ AP Photo



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