GOOOOOOOD MORNING DEGENERATES! Happy NFL Sunday!
ANYWHO, welcome to Middle Urinal Must Bets, presented by the WTP Sports Book (go DM @WTP_SportsBook on Twitter to place your bets). Each week on Live from the Middle Urinal—an OK-at-best podcast you certainly should(n’t) listen to—myself and fellow degenerate sports bettors Dom, Rob, and Phil give you our…LOCKS OF THE WEEK. After going 4-0 (Matt) and 2-2 (Dom), now we’re committing to 16 weeks of pickin’ LOCKS for the boys. Make sure you listen each week—we give extra picks in the pod!
So far, we’re 16-18-2 on the year and 25-24-2 with bonus/guests included—not bad for guys who don’t know what they’re doing. Now, without further ado, here are our LOCKS OF THE WEEK for NFL Week 12.
Matt (5-5; overall, 9-5)
The Game: Baltimore Ravens at Los Angeles Rams; Monday, 8:15pm
The Pick: BAL -3
The Ravens might be the best team in football. They’re definitely top 3. The Rams barely beat the Chicago Bears. This looks like a trap line, but don’t overthink it. Baltimore will win this game, definitely. There is almost a zero percent chance of a loss. So worst case, it’s a push with a game-winning FG. It won’t be, though. It’ll be an easy win.
Dom (6-5; overall, 8-7)
The Game: Dallas Cowboys at New England Patriots; Sunday, 4:25pm
The Pick: DAL +6
Dom changed his pick 3/4 of the way through the show from the Jets +3 to this. I don’t know why. I’m not sure how. One minute, we’re talking about how the Patriots cover like 65% of the time and how insane that is—the next, he’s taking Dallas +6. I can’t even defend this pick.
Rob (3-4-1; overall, 3-4-1)
The Game: Denver Broncos at Buffalo Bills; Sunday, 1:00pm
The Pick: DEN + 4
For the second wee in a row, let’s go Broncos. Denver handled its 10.5-point spread last week against a very good Minnesota team, and now they’re playing an overrated Bills team. Can the Bills give them problems defensively? Sure. Can the Broncos keep this to a field goal game? Yes. Vic Fangio dominates young QBs. Book it.
Phil (2-3-1; overall, 2-3-1)
The Game: Seattle Seahawks at Philadelphia Eagles; Sunday, 1:00pm
The Pick: SEA +1
This line is a little fishy, and while we were quick to jump to conclusions, Phil is confident in his pick. And for good reason. The Eagles have looked less than stellar this year and while they can still be very good, it’s hard to bet against Russell Wilson in a year where he’s playing like an MVP candidate. Seattle is the better team. The better team is getting points. Don’t overthink it.
BONUS PICK (6-5)
The Game: Carolina Panthers at New Orleans Saints; Sunday, 1:00pm
The Pick: CAR +10
Something about this just screams too many points. Plus, the Saints looked very beatable against Atlanta at home 2 weeks ago, and the Panthers just got embarrassed themselves. NFL teams that get embarrassed bounce back. Not saying Carolina will win this, but they won’t lose by double digits.
Every Sunday morning, I’ll be bringing you these picks, so make sure you place all your bets with the WTP Sports Book by DMing us at @WTP_SportsBook on Twitter. Go make some money, folks. And listen to the show on Wednesdays (and Sundays!) anywhere you can find podcasts!