Derek Dietrich Is The Coolest Baseball Player On The Planet, And He Should Be Your Favorite Player

 In a season where players seem to be hitting home runs at the most accelerated rate in MLB history (because they are), a handful of random players have cemented themselves as legitimate 30 home run threats. While Christian Yelich and Cody Bellinger are the current front runners in this year’s home run chase, little thought of players are already halfway to the previously-prestigious 30 home run plateau.

Names like Josh Bell, Daniel Vogelbach, Eddie Rosario, Peter Alonso, and Franmil Reyes have already hit 15+ home runs, and it’s not even June 1st.

However, perhaps the most random player to experience 2019s power surge is Cincinnati Reds second baseman, and MY favorite baseball player in the world right now, Derek Dietrich.

When you look at Dietrich’s career numbers, nothing at all jumps off the page. Breaking in with the Miami Marlins in 2013, Dietrich spent the majority of his days in south beach as a platoon man. He played every infield position, other than shortstop, and would frequently see time at both corner outfield spots. He was an unremarkable hitter, hitting .254 over his 6 seasons in Miami with a .757 OPS and 60 home runs. All told, not too shabby for a soft hitting role player on a shitty, SHITTY organization. After his most productive season in Miami in 2018, where Dietrich would hit a career-high 16 home runs with a .265 batting average, the fish decided to let the 28-year-old walk in free agency. After being passed over for much of free agency, Dietrich was finally able to secure a minor league deal with the Reds in late February.

That’s where the story really begins.

With the Reds All-Star second baseman Scooter Gennett being placed on the IL for an extended period of time prior to Opening Day, Dietrich would get a chance to play every day as the team’s second baseman, and BOY HOWDY did he not mess up his chance.

Dietrich is currently hitting .254 with a 1.085 OPS and a .712 slugging percentage. He has already eclipsed his previous career high in home runs and it’s not even June, yet. And while you may look at those numbers and say, “Well, That’s great and all but why is he so awesome?”

Here’s why: Derek Dietrich has more swag, confidence, balls, whatever you want to call it, than any player in MLB history.

Never in my many years of watching this great game have I ever seen a player, with 77 career home runs, be cockier. And it is an absolute delight to watch. Almost every single one of his 17 home runs on the year has been sat back and admired with the utmost disrespect and it’s immaculate watching all these crusty-ass color commentators shit their pants every time he does it.

Back in early April, this titanic blast off certified bitch Chris Archer was the inciting incident for a benches-clearing incident. 

Do you know how Derek Dietrich responded to this? By hitting 4 home runs against the Pirates in two days because of fuck a jolly roger.

He also drew an Eye-black mustache on himself. That is all.


Joe Robbins/ Getty Images

He’s also very handsome.


Derek Dietrich is the coolest son of a bitch in the MLB, hell, maybe even in the world. He’s my favorite baseball player alive, and he should be yours as well.

Photo by Andy Lyons/ Getty Images  



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