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Does Von Miller’s Play On the Football Field Qualify as Porn? Some Say Yes, Literally

We all love great defensive play. Look at the excitement surrounding guys like Aaron Donald and Khalil Mack, who have dominated the defensive front in the NFL for the past few years. But one guy that’s seemingly been forgotten, despite being a 7x All Pro and the Super Bowl MVP only 4 short seasons ago (and being one of fewer than 10 defenders to do so)…Von Miller.

Perhaps it’s because he’s been stuck in Denver, a team that, under the strange leadership of a half-man, half-horse, half-hall of game quarterback has been out of sorts in the past few years. Perhaps it’s because he hasn’t topped the league in sacks, or because we’ve devalued having multiple 10-sack seasons. All I know is that Von Miller is still really good at football and is only 30 years old. Watching this dude play defensive snaps is like watching porn. Without the strength (and mass) of Donald and Mack, he’s made his living with speed and finesse.

However, a clip went viral on the popular social media site, Twitter, earlier of a pundit speaking to the play of Miller in context of Melvin Gordon coming back that might just have reminded the world just how close to pornography Miller’s play can be. I agree with her, wholeheartedly.

Let’s take a look at this quote one more time:

“Training with your trainer on your own and on instagram is not the same as Von Miller cumming down your throat”

My point exactly. When you’re on the football field with Miller, he doesn’t just tackle you, he cums down your throat. I mean, good lord. Making a tackle in the backfield is already an alpha move. But to plant your seed while you’re there? That’s a whole other level. I haven’t seen Khalil Mack or Aaron Donald cum down anyone’s throat (although Donald has definitely banged some dudes into the ground).

If Vic Fangio taking the team over isn’t enough to revamp Miller back to the caliber he was at in 2012, this certainly will. Wait until the rest of the division hears about what Miller has been doing to Melvin Gordon. They’ll be twitching in their boots.

But seriously, I do think people forget just how good Von Miller is because he plays for a bad team.

Photo: FanDuel

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