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I Think I May Have Created the “Owen Doyon Curse”

Hey there readers, my name is Owen Doyon. I’ve been a full-time employee at WTP Sports for a little over 13 months at this point. I write about baseball. Now that we’ve gotten to know each other, let’s talk about the fact that I may or may not have other-worldly abilities to ruin a players/ teams season simply by acknowledging their existence. 

You see, it’s late August, my favorite baseball team, the Boston Red Sox, are an absolute abomination, and we are firmly entrenched in the dog dogs of summer. There is not much to talk about in terms of baseball news. But I’ve had this topic to write about for a good while now, so I figured now is a good a time as ever to dig into it.

I think I may have my own curse. Similar to the Madden Curse, Stephen A Smith curse, Max Kellerman curse ( he doesn’t really have one he’s just been dead wrong about Tom Brady sucking for about 4 years now), I think that if I give a baseball team or player any sort of praise, they are immediately doomed. 

You might be thinking, “Owen, you say a lot of things about a lot of different teams and players. What could possibly lead you to believe you have supernatural powers?”. Well, I have receipts.  

This all dates back to when I wrote a blog in spring training when I was discussing who on the Yankees roster should be feared. I said that Troy Tulowitzki would be a force to be reckoned with, and that Gleyber Torres would regress and DJ Lemahieu was irrelevant. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, by Tulowitzki literally retired mid-season, and Gleyber and DJ are both having MVP caliber seasons. L number 1. 

Then there was that blog that I wrote after opening day where I told Red Sox fans that this team would be fine, going as far to say that the league was, in the words of Billy Madison, “in Big, BIG Trouble”. I also said that Chris Sale was not only going to be fine, but that he was going to have a Pedro Martinez type season. The league was not in big trouble, as the Red Sox continued losing early in the season, Chris Sale was not fine, and the team is currently 70-62 and are out of the American League playoff picture entirely. L number 2.

You can’t forget about that time where I said that the Seattle Mariners, who began the season by hitting a home run in 15 straight games, were ready to rule the American League West in 2019. I fully drank the Kool Aid on this team, disregarding all the warnings all over the labels, as well as my own thoughts and concerns that I wrote about them months before, and even went as far as to say that they were, “actually really good.” They were not actually really good, and have gone 43-72 since I wrote that blog and have basically been one of the worst teams in baseball. L number 3. 

Oh, we can’t forget about the time where I said the Tampa Bay Rays were the best team in baseball and the AL East was their division to lose and they were “not a team you want to try to chase down.” Starting literally the day after I wrote that blog, the Rays went on a stretch where they went 14-14 and literally handed the AL East to the junior varsity version of the Yankees on a silver platter. They have been firmly fixed in the Wild Card chase ever since, and haven’t sniffed the top of the division since mid-May. L number 4. 

This is maybe the most egregious of all my examples.

Back in June, I went public with my love for Cincinnati Reds second baseman Derek Dietrich, saying how he was my favorite baseball player and how awesome he is and yada, yada, yada. At the time, Dietrich was hitting .270 with a 1.082 OPS and 17 homeruns, and was on pace to hit 51 home runs for the year. Since I wrote my love letter to Derek Dietrich, he has slashed .139/ .326/ .269 with 2 home runs in 47 games. He literally turned into one of the worst hitters in baseball after I mentioned his name. This one stings the most but, still, BIG L number 5. 

Then there are a number of smaller examples that I didn’t think needed that much mention, but still saw some sort curse-like effects happen after my writing: Vlad Guerrero Jr being good, Michael Chavis falling off, The Phillies coming back to life, and Chris Davis breaking out of his historic hitless streak against the Red Sox. 

My track record begs the question; should I just stop talking about teams and players when they’re doing well? At this point, there is evidence to prove that I do have a measurable effect on individuals production, and it is almost always for the worse. It is my job to write about baseball though. The real question is should I use my power for good? I may be like Madame Zeroni from the movie Holes for all we know and I can potentially place hexes on certain people. Should I say that there is NO CHANCE the Yankees don’t win the World Series and that they’re the greatest team in the history of baseball? *wink**wink**nudge**nudge* 

The moral of the story is if I say that a certain baseball team looks really good, start betting against them immediately, because they are about to go on a historic losing streak. 

The curse of Owen Doyon is alive and well folks. Fear me.

 

 

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