I’m convinced Drake nailed Kim K. So who wins the ensuing rap beef?

I’m positive that Drake boinked Kim Kardashian. You can’t convince me otherwise. Not possible.

If you missed it like some sort of nerd, this twitter thread went as viral as Ebola a few years ago. Shit was like the H1N1. Or the great flu of 1918. Infecting the internet like Mantis Toboggan, MD.

All caught up? Great, thanks. Now to the point. The real bit of this that makes it really interesting is the debate it ultimately sparks up: Who wins the ensuing beef between Aubrey Drake Graham and Kanye Omari West?

Ye vs. Drizzy. ADG da Gawd vs. KO-Dubyah. The Pride of Chicago vs. The Canadian Kid. Honestly, this would be a good one (hear me out, Christ. I see you rolling your eyes you sheep.). I think, ultimately, Drake would win this one. I mean, Pusha T legit just shit talked Drake over a beat for 2 minutes and 30 seconds and a ton of people still think Drake won that beef. Take that for what it’s worth. But I do also think that Drake is an incredible dude in beefs and back to back was an all-timer. People used to walk around just insulting each other with verbal memes of “Is that your [insert thing here] or your girl’s [insert thing here, too].”

All that being said, I think a lot of people underestimate my boy Kanye. Listen. He’s become like the Charlie Kelly of rap music (note: that’s my second Always Sunny reference, I’m on fire today. Burning up the keyboard). He’s a total wildcard. A story could come out tomorrow saying that Kanye killed a guy and honestly a lot of us would look at the headline, “Kanye West Charged With Murder” and we’d shrug and think, Eh, I can see it. Ye’s got two things: sweet beats and a freaky look in his eye.

I know a crazy when I see a crazy. That may be because it takes one to know one, yes, but that’s not the point. Kanye just has something special. And granted, he’s never been as lyrically masterful or nuanced as Drake. But we know he’s got it in him. I mean, look at the dude’s Twitter history. (Seriously, go look, there’s some gems.) This is a guy who tweeted that slavery was a choice. Even crazier than that, he once tweeted that he pushes the elevator “door close” button on people ’cause he likes riding them alone. They’re his “sanctuary.” That’s a direct quote. You tell me there’s a sane man out there whose sanctuary is an elevator and I’ll show you a weirdo version of Superman.

If this ends up being a Twitter beef, then Drake might as well bow out now. Kanye has the fingers ready to go and my man knows the ins and outs of the old Twitter machine.

As for a real rap beef, it’s like McGregor vs. Mayweather. We all know who’s going to win. Some of us don’t want to admit it (myself included). And sure, Kanye might come out and surprise us. There’s a real chance he could make something happen. A long shot. The Carl Spackler of the rap beef (it’s in the hole!). But honestly, Drake would take this one late in the third round. I’m just saying, don’t sleep on the Yeezus.

I mean, let’s be real here. I love Ye. Love him. Little nuts though. C’mon guys. Kanye’s kind of a psychopath. My mans wrote an entire song about how he’s debated killing himself and his loved ones. He’s got some mental health issues, and to be honest with you, I think it gives him an edge. He’s the conductor on the crazy train headed down the highway to the danger zone and folks, good art comes from pain. A true artist must suffer for their art.

And if anyone has suffered in this scenario, it’s Kanye. It’s a tough look for the dude. Mental health issues and Drake stuck it in your wife? Eat the L, dog. Damn.

Argue with me @matt_hoff_

Go listen to us talk about it:


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