Everyone knows that there’s one thing that causes breakups and that’s the decision on where to eat. Not exactly the decision, but more the lack there of. From your mother to your girlfriend, to your friends, every guy knows that women can’t choose what they want or where they want to go to eat (excluding grandmothers because grandmothers are perfect human beings in every way). It’s science, it’s a fact, don’t question it.
If you have ever asked a woman where they want to eat, you’ll get the same response; “doesn’t matter to me, it’s up to you”, or some variation of those words. This is where it gets into the arguing, because you can suggest something to eat and then they say, “I don’t know, I’m not really feeling [insert any of the food options you’re feeling like].” So then you come back with something along the lines of, “thought you didn’t care where we ate?”, to which she will reply something about how you can never pick either. Then you have to try your best to hold from snapping and saying something about how she always comes back with flipping the script (which all women do, but NEVER TELL THEM THAT OR THEY WILL KILL YOU) and all hell breaks loose. Now you’re arguing about every single little decision that has ever been made between the two of you and before you know it, she’s kicking you out and you’re reading this post wishing I had shared the information a day earlier.
Now, depending on your relationship strength you’re either hopping onto another chick, or you’re planning to kill me because I withheld the information for a day too long. I hope it’s the first one, but I digress. The reason we are in this post to begin with is that some man, of the super variety, cracked the code to the food choice question. Enter Tanner, the boy of steel balls. The one who stood up and said “we aren’t going to take the abuse anymore”, and discovered something far more important to the happiness of a man than any treasure: a woman’s happiness.
Tanner took it upon himself to discover a method by which you can satisfy a woman’s desire for food in a way that makes her feel as if you chose it, when in reality she did. It’s brilliant, really. A method that gets us men both fed and free of the stess that comes along with an unhappy, agitated, and hungry (the cause of the previous two) female.
Bless you Tanner, you have given the world hope. In a time where relationships and marriages are at an all time low, one man set out to change that, and my educated guess is that you will see the number of marriages boom by the quadrillions, all because one man didn’t shy away from the most dreaded question in human history. Godspeed Tanner….Godspeed.