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Middle Urinal Must Bets: NFL Week 5

GOOOOOOOD MORNING DEGENERATES! Happy NFL Sunday!

ANYWHO, welcome to Middle Urinal Must Bets, presented by the WTP Sports Book (go DM @WTP_SportsBook on Twitter to place your bets). Each week on Live from the Middle Urinal—an OK-at-best podcast you certainly should(n’t) listen to—myself and fellow degenerate sports bettor Dom not only talk about our favorite bets for the following week, but we guess the lines, talk about the bad beats from the week before, and of course, give you our…

🔒 LOCKS OF THE WEEK 🔒

Last year, we started these suckers a little late and weren’t able to finish the season, but this year we’re in it for the long-haul. After going 4-0 (Matt) and 2-2 (Dom), now we’re committing to 16 weeks of pickin’ LOCKS for the boys. Get excited. This year, we’re also going to add in a consensus bonus pick, one that we both like. And make sure you listen each week—we give extra picks in the pod!

So far, we’re 8-6 on the year combined and with our bonus picks—not a bad start for guys who don’t know what they’re doing. Now, without further ado, here are our LOCKS OF THE WEEK for NFL Week 5.

Matt (3-1; overall, 7-1)
The Game: Chicago Bears at Oakland Raiders; Sunday, 1:00 pm
The Pick: CHI -5

The line opened at Chicago -6, and with 70% of the money and bets on the Bears, the line moved the other way, to -5. Something about this makes me think that something is fishy. I know Trubisky is hurt and Chase Daniel is essentially a game manager, but this Bears defense is good enough to hold a less-than-stellar Raiders offense to a low enough number that they can win by a touchdown. I don’t believe in this Raiders team. This can easily end 27-17 Chicago. Oh, and the Raiders have been traveling for 2 straight weeks. Yikes.

Dom (2-2; overall, 4-4)
The Game: Tampa Bay Buccaneers at New Orleans Saints; Sunday, 1:00 pm
The Pick: NO -3

Similar reasoning here, in a game that opened with the Saints -6.5, and after 55% of the public dumped money on New Orleans, the line moved not to -7, but down to -3. SOMETHING AIN’T RIGHT, FOLKS. This is one of Dom’s rules. Something stinks, so bet it. Teddy two gloves has managed to do everything well enough (aside from downfield passes) and the Saints have enough talent to beat Jameis Winston—who’s due for a bad game—at home.

Rob (1-0; overall, 1-0)
The Game: Baltimore Ravens at Pittsburgh Steelers; Sunday, 1:00 pm
The Pick: BAL -3

In Rob’s words, “I’m not telling you to bet the house on it. I’m not trying to fail you guys. But that’s my pick and I’m gonna stick to my cojones.” This is a game we all looked out, but only Rob was ballsy enough to make a play on. Turns out we’re not 100% sure how good the Steelers are after beating a bad Bengals team, and Mason Rudolph—who has looked good—is still wearing his training wheels. There’s a good chance that Lamar Jackson shows up after a tough loss here.

BONUS PICK
The Game: Chicago Bears at Oakland Raiders; Sunday, 1:00 pm
The Pick: Over 40.5

The world is on the under. Everyone and their mother has bet this—80% of the bets and money! Wait until 12:50 pm tomorrow, and hammer the over. It might drop as low as 39. These teams can still combine for that low of a number. And we love to fade the public. Book it.

Every Sunday morning, I’ll be bringing you these picks, so make sure you place all your bets with the WTP Sports Book by DMing us at @WTP_SportsBook on Twitter. Go make some money, folks. And listen to the show on Wednesdays anywhere you can find podcasts!

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