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Ranking the Top 5 Greatest Closer Entrance Songs of ALL TIME

 Well, since football for Patriots fans is over much earlier than it usually is, I guess I have to get back to this whole baseball thing a full TWO MONTHS before Spring Training starts. And what do I have to talk about when the Red Sox stink like hot garbage? Historical, fun baseball stuff of course. 

I love closers, and I love entrance songs. So, why not do a list of the best closer walk out songs in MLB History? A list dedicated to the men who slammed the door shut, locked games down, threw away the keys, and looked like badasses doing it.

I present to you: The Owen Doyon Top Five Closer Entrance Songs of All Time… Excluding Mariano Rivera. I know it might be sacrilege to leave the greatest closer of all time with the greatest walk-out song in the history of sports off of my list, but everybody knows that Rivera would top this list easily, so why should I waste your, and my time, delaying the inevitable. It’s my list, my rules. If you don’t like it, get mad about it on Twitter. 

Without further ado, let’s get to the list. 

5. Kenley Jansen- California Love

https://youtu.be/J7_bMdYfSws

Let’s start with a fun one. Kenley Jansen is secretly one of my favorite pitchers in the game right now, and has been for a good long while. But when Jansen was at the peak of his dominance, back in 2017 or so, and you heard that first “Callllifornia looooooove”, you knew the game was over. It’s so LA that it hurts. The level of cool is literally off the charts when Kenleyfornia Love comes jogging out of the bullpen. ‘California Love’ is an all time classic, and is personally one of my favorite songs ever, so of course I was going to put it on this list.  

 

4. Koji Uehara and Jonathan Papelbon- Sandstorm and Shipping Up To Boston

https://youtu.be/gFsdPrBLHO0

 

 

These two are splitting a spot on the list simply because I couldn’t pick which one was better. Just like Kenley Jansen walking out to Tupac, when Jonathan Papelbon entered to the sounds of ‘Shipping up to Boston’ it was the most Boston thing ever. He was a crazy, mean son of a bitch, and he was going to take out his anger on opposing teams while being serenaded by a song that is about a city full of crazy and mean SOB’s. Likewise, Has there every been a song that was reflective of someone’s personality than Koji Uehara using ‘Sandstorm’? The high-fiving, jumping up and down, perpetually smiling Koji was born to run out to this song. In the 2013 playoffs, when Koji came jogging in from right field and the crowd started clapping along to this absolute BANGER, you knew opposing batters were in for a bad time. You might think I’m biased for putting two former Red Sox pitchers on this list, but screw you these were awesome. 

 

3. Sean Doolittle- For Whom the Bell Tolls

https://youtu.be/eeqGuaAl6Ic

 

This one was pretty easy to include. When Sean Doolittle was lights out and the Oakland Athletics were really good earlier in the decade, this personified that entire team and fanbase to a tee. The bleacher dwellers who would rage for Grant Balfour and Josh Reddick did the same when Sean Doolittle and Metallica were called upon. The right field bleachers would all begin to headbang incessantly because, of course. I miss that Oakland A’s team, I miss dominant Sean Doolittle, and I miss this walk out.  

2. Andrew Miller- God’s Gonna Cut You Down

https://youtu.be/Krtm_gUAadI

 

When Andrew Miller was at the height of his dominance with the New York Yankees, he might have been one of the most overpowering left handed pitchers of all time. He was 6’7”, he threw 98 mph, and he was going to strike you out. Like I was saying with Koji about how ‘Sandstorm’ fit his personality perfectly, that goes double for Miller. Andrew Miller in 2015 and 2016 might as well have been God himself on the mound, and you could guaren-damn-tee that he was going to cut you down. Unlike most songs on this list, there’s no loud crescendo that fans can cheer along to. This is a song about a man that is here to do business, and that business is ruining opposing batters’ days.  

 

1. Trevor Hoffman- Hells Bells

https://youtu.be/GL56LY6fE0E

 

I mean what else would it be? Who else could it have been? Figures that the greatest closer of all time NOT named Mariano Rivera would take this top spot in his absence. Trevor Hoffman would not only be the GOAT Closer if it weren’t for Rivera, he would have the GOAT walk out song to boot. ‘Hells Bells’, just like with Andrew Miller and ‘God’s Gonna Cut You Down’, was how you felt when Trevor Hoffman came walking out. It was your day of reckoning, and Trevor Hoffman was coming to collect souls using the power of changeups. 

 

Shoutout to me for inspiring this list. 

Go watch the Daily Show, follow me on twitter @OD__13.


Photo via Donald Miralle

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