Boston fans could have told you that loyalty wasn’t in his blood, but really Ray? Catfished? My man, you have a wife, kids, a constant bombardment of comments questioning your loyalty. How could you?
Apparently ol’ Ray Ray decided to go out and look for some new ass and ended up with Bryant Coleman, some random dude who had a hobby that was to pretend to be attractive women on dating apps and such. So weird. Watch out my dudes, you could be talking to a dude and not even know it.
I guess Coleman basically didn’t take it well when Allen found out he was a dude and not some hot chick from Miami Beach. The two entered an agreement that none of the weird stuff would hit the internet, then Coleman broke the deal by posting some weird stuff on the internet and Allen got pissed. So Allen goes and gets pissed at Coleman, Coleman then files for a restraining order (gets it), and then Allen wants legal action taken because the dude didnt hold up his end of the deal.
Let me give everyone a tip: if you are entering an agreement with someone whose hobby is lying about whether they have a penis or not, then they probably will lie about holding up their end of an agreement. Ray, my dude, come on. I haven’t even touched on the part of you being a dad and a husband yet. I’ll get there. let me just mention the part about how this Coleman dude claims he’s in a gay relationship with you.
So I guess the story continues that this Coleman guy had messages and photos sent between the two well after Allen had found out the guy had a penis. Not going to touch on that but I will say that Coleman said this; “Ray knows how I look, he knows how my voice sounds, he knows how I think, and most importantly, he knows my heart.”
Ya.. your heart…
And the name.. OH THE NAME… SUGARRRAY20, AKA Ray Allen. Literally no attempt to disguise the name, only an attempt to make himself sound like a Miami pimp. CLASSIC Ray… act like nothing is even wrong no matter how brutally you’re destroying loyalty.
Now for the part where I tell you you’re a piece of crap, Ray Ray. Don’t worry, I didn’t forget it. You have kids, man. A wife. A life with all of them, and you go off getting your feelings played with by a chick with a dick. I don’t feel bad. I think this is hysterical. Absolutely hysterical. I feel for your family, but this is just too awesome. You, the king of No Loyalty, who claimed he had all the loyalty in the world, went and tried to cheat on his wife and only didn’t do so when you realized that the woman had a a word shape going on in her panties when she sent that pic to you.
The entire Boston fan base has a smile that’s only rivaled by the size of the bulge in your mistress’ pants.