The Patriots Are Super Bowl Champions…Again

Dread it, run from it, destiny arrives all the same.

You’re going to see eight billion stories today about the Patriots, and for good reason. The greatest organization in NFL history just won its 6th Super Bowl in 11 appearances, and Tom Brady now has more Super Bowl rings than any player in NFL history, with a record of 6-3 in the big game. Ten straight AFC East titles. Eight straight AFC Championship appearances. Three straight Super Bowl appearances with 2 wins.

But none of it matters. If Tom Brady is Thanos, Super Bowl LIII was merely him sitting down at the end of the film to watch the sun set upon a grateful universe. The legacy of the goat was long-ago cemented. The AFC Championship win was the moment he acquired the mind stone and brought the Infinity Gauntlet to full strength. The Rams (well, really, Aaron Donald was) were Thor—they should’ve gone for the head.

*snaps Max Kellerman into oblivion*

Look, I’m not going to go on and on about how incredible this organization or Belichick or Brady are. I wouldn’t be telling you anything you haven’t heard a million times over. Last night, after they won, I was firing off tweets like a machine and Live from the Middle Urinal cohost and proud Packers (yikes) fan Rob turned to the room and said, “Look! This is what Patriots fans do when they win the Super Bowl. Nothing! Look at this ‘celebration’?!” And you know what? He’s right. I was taught to act like you’ve been there before, and seeing how the Patriots have been there 9 times since ’01, and have taken home 6—this isn’t anything new. Was I amped up during the game? Of course. But the moment Stephen “the Gold Leg” Gostkowski put that second FG through the uprights, the game was done. I sat down and smiled, and enjoyed watching the Rams turn into Thor—they moved almost halfway across the field in moments—but they should’ve aimed for the head. Too little, too late.

Both defenses looked incredible. My hat is off to Aaron Donald and the secondary, and my hat is further off to the Patriots D. They showed up. I said on my WTP Sports production podcast, Live from the Middle Urinal, prior to the championship round that despite the top 4 offenses making it to that round, all of their defenses had shown up in the playoffs. And it rang true that week, and now in the Super Bowl. Lowest scoring Super Bowl in history. Two interceptions. A couple forced fumbles. Jared Goff sacked to his knees by KVN. Christ, Johnny Hekker punted for more yards than Jared Goff threw for. And on offense, Edelman was, of course, incredible (and finally got an MVP award), Sony Michel made a case for being the best running back in the NFL to wear No. 26, and Brady played essentially mistake-free football save for the opening play. Truthfully Chris Hogan was the only one who played a “meh” game.

Now, #TitleTown is only 2 ‘ships away from a cycle. It’s a shame that the Kings and the Lakers won’t be their competition—I’m enjoying using the #BeatLA hashtag.

It’s good to be back. Now we jsut need to figure out a way to let the Patriots snap Goodell and the bottom 10 teams out of the league to make this a little more interesting.

Fun fact: Atlanta United scored 3 or more goals 10 times in the Mercedes Benz Dome this year. Tough look for LA.



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